Appreciating when you can't do something you want to do

Yesterday the sun was out and we had a lovely day as a family. Hubby and I want to start taking turns doing Park Run on a Saturday morning (until Marley can scoot round then we can all do it together :-). We went to Ferry Meadows to do a recce and had a lovely long walk round the lakes with Marley and Rocki. We had a coffee in the sunshine and then looked round the gift shop which surprised me because it was filled with lots of nice pieces.

The rest of the day involved sitting in the garden and a tasty family BBQ before we raced back home to get Marley in bed on time. 

We decided to chill out in bed and take in the evening sunset (this is a dawn view). But when I got my laptop out to do my 10 minutes of writing, hubby wasn't very keen. "Talk to me instead," he said. 

Sometimes you have to choose between two good things. Celebrate and appreciate this.

Thinking about it for a split second, I figured that kind of invitation wasn't worth getting frustrated about. Appreciating that I had two good things to do at the same time, I decided to write twice today and enjoy the conversation.

Absolute mind blanks — is this sleep deprivation?

Yesterday I completely forgot to write! Since I started this 10 minutes of writing a day, I've been conscious of my commitment and the need to write each day. I knew when I slipped up and didn't write. But yesterday, this blog was something I just didn't think about.

It wasn’t a hideously overwhelming or terrible day. I’ve had a lot of them in the last four and a half months but I can’t say Marley was difficult.

I just blanked. And the slightly concerning this is that these mind blanks have been happening quite a bit, enough for me to notice. The biggest worry has been when I can't remember a word I should absolutely know, like a term I use all the time for work, or one I have literally just used. 

I’m putting it down to my four and a half months of not a single full night’s sleep (otherwise known as torture).

I can blame sleep deprivation right? But as Marley gets better and better at sleeping I should see an improvement write?

The issue with our ageing selves

Someone I know is turning 30. And so we turned to the conversation about how much it bothered her. I too am guilty of this negative age talk. It's never been an issue before. Probably because I was on the right side of the years.

But I'm turning 36 this year so I am helter skeltering towards my 40th. The thought unnerves me! Why? Mainly because I don't feel like I have achieved everything I should have by now and I have so much left to do. I really don't feel that 'old' and I certainly don't want to give in to an aging body.

I want to stay slim, unfrumpy and energetic. I want to stay relevant. I want more time to explore, learn and grow.

Equally important to me is the ability to age with grace. And so I need to bury the issue and come to terms with my ageing self. 

The 'book ends' of your life

I met with two old friends today, Philomena Timberlake who works with her husband Mark to produce online courses and Corrina Kennedy of Pathway Balancing. We are all self employed and have met every 5 weeks or so for the last 8 years! We're somewhat of a mastermind group and have seen each other through some very bleak times and some very joyous times, both in business and personally.  

Today we talked about the things that form the foundation and support of your life — the ‘book ends’ that keep you from toppling over.

These are things that are core to your life, like key people, beliefs, routines and work.

It made me think about my 'book ends' and how much I appreciate them. I'll write about these in more detail when I have more time. Actually, I never have more time so I'll rephrase that. I'll write about these another day, in another 10 minute slot. In the mean time, what are your book ends? Have you stopped to appreciate them lately?

The myth of time

We're all guilty of saying:

  • "When I am celebrating I'll wear...,"
  • "When I have time I will...,"
  • "When we have a free weekend we'll...,"

Now that I am faced with the biggest time limitation I ever had (thanks Marley Drawwater) I'm convinced there is never ever a good time. Wear your nice clothes today. Do the things you keep putting off. Make this weekend free and go and live. 

Time is a mythical creature. It does not stand still. It slips through your fingers. You see it and then you don’t, it’s rhythm and pace driven by a force outside of your control. 
— Sara Drawwater

Figuring out this blog — part 1

I’m trying hard not too overthink what I am doing as that’s the only way I can actually hit ‘publish’ everyday.

But inevitably, I've been thinking about what I want this blog to be.

Truth is, although I've had this blog since 2013 (yikes), I've never figured out what I want from it and I have certainly not written consistently.

Important questions about this blog

  • Why am I writing?
  • What is my why? 
  • What are the main topics or common threads?
  • Who should read this blog?
  • Why should people read this?

I don't know the answers quite yet, but having forced myself to write, I'm really trying to figure out the answers.  

Current thoughts on topics for this blog are:

  • Not accepting what happens to you by default
  • Highs and lows of running your own business
  • Balance between living and achieving
  • Lessons from what life throws at me
  • My motherhood journey
  • Appreciation and joy
  • Simplicity
  • Zambia and it's influence on me 

I'm obviously struggling to pick a niche! 

Friday — tired

Is it ok to stare at your screen and see white space? Is it ok not to hear the therapeutic sound of your keyboard? Is it ok to just curl up in my arm chair?

I hope so... It's Friday and I am whacked. 

I'm listening to my body and just relaxing this evening. I learnt to listen to my body when it gave up. I learnt a lot from Corrina from Pathway Balancing

Good night. x