The art of being lost

by Sara Drawwater in

Today, Marley was asleep when I got to the Doctor's for his weigh in. To give him a little more time to sleep, I decided to walk on down a street I'd never been on before. I ended up a little lost trying to make my way back. 

Getting lost might be frustrating but it forces you to use roads you have never used before. When you’re lost you’ll notice things you never saw before. And you always find the way to your destination.

I was thinking about how getting this concept of getting lost applies to my life. Like with this 10 minutes of writing a day project. I'm not sure of the directions, nor of where I will end up. This is also true of my life as I adapt to being a new Mama. I'm not sure what my way is, or how to find it. But being lost forces me to find solutions, find my way and find my self. 

For the love of books

by Sara Drawwater in

I l-o-v-e books. My love affair began when I was a little girl. I grew up on a remote farm with no electricity and no immediate neighbours. Books were my TV and my friends. I could open up a book and I could be anyone, do anything and go anywhere.

The thing about books is you have to depend on your own imagination to weave together the story, characters and meaning. And that is the joy, that is the education, that is the drama.

And long after I went to boarding school in Mkushi, moved to Zambia's capital city Lusaka, London, Peterborough, Wolverhampton and back to Peterborough, the love of books has followed me. 

I am a nomadic soul. My roots do not run deep. Wherever I will go, the love of books will follow me. 

Musings on my first Mother's Day

by Sara Drawwater in

I was never a princess kind of little girl. I never dreamed of getting married, having babies or walking down a catwalk. Instead, I slid down anthills, went foraging for wild fruit and floated down rivers on tire inner tubes.

But this day, on my first Mother's Day, I find myself married, with a baby of my very own and being a wannabe 'fashionista' as I sort my image out post pregnancy.

This journey called life, it takes you on roads you were certain of, roads you never dreamed of and roads you weren't too sure of. With every bend there comes another twist in your story and with every pothole an unexpected shock. But on every road there is always a horizon ahead. Keep travelling forward. 

To adjust your expectations — part 2

by Sara Drawwater

After reading yesterday's post I feel I didn't really get into the point about adjusting expectations. Since Marley was born, I've been pushing myself to achieve a long list of things that are important to me:

  1. Take care of Marley
  2. Cultivate my relationship with hubby
  3. Get back into shape post pregnancy— eat well and exercise
  4. Two hours a day minimum on my work
  5. Maintaining and tidy and organised home
  6. Finish the house project
  7. Quiet spiritual time
  8. Time to just live, be and have fun

Just this week, something clicked for me. It was hard enough juggling all these plates before I was a new Mum, so how can I expect myself to achieve all this now? 

Now I see that the pressure I was putting on myself was stifling.


Some great people in my life gently helped me to reach this conclusion for myself (hubby, Mum, Dad, Mother-in-law). I didn't want to hear it and I reached breaking point before I could admit I had a problem. Once there, I was able to start addressing the problem. 

The solution is to adjust my expectations, to be kinder to myself and accept change. For a season some things are going to have to take a back seat. The challenge is working out what can slip when everything is so important to me. I'm still working on that. And I keep telling myself, "I'm not giving up, giving in or admitting defeat".

p.s. This post took a wee bit longer than my 10 minute deadline. But it's Saturday night, Marley is in bed (oh yeah) and I have a little more time. Now hubby and I are going to attack the crackers and cheese :-)

To adjust your expectations — part 1

by Sara Drawwater in

Today's 10 minutes of writing very nearly didn't happen as it's nearly 10pm already. Yesterday afternoon, Marley had his vaccinations. Today he has been feverish and in need of lots of attention. It's been such a 'where did the time go day' that I didn't even get to shower until about 8pm. (How can than be? Have a baby and you will see!)

To get him to sleep I took him (and the dog) out for a walk. I slung a hoody over a tea stained top, perfectly matched with some tracky bottoms (now too big for me - yay) and shoved my hair in a bun. Oh and I did brush my teeth and wash my face. 

And just as I imagined I would, I bumped into someone I knew. Why or why?! That always happens when you look your worst. And it is always someone rather glamorous (or hunky).

This kind of day got me thinking that I just expect myself to do and be too much. Is this giving up, giving in and admitting defeat? I'm hoping it's more like adjusting my expectations to fit in the very important job of bringing up a little boy.  

Ideas are easy, delivery is excruciatingly difficult

by Sara Drawwater in

We all have these ideas to do something, change something, be something. The classic example are those new year resolutions that last all of two weeks. You know, lose a stone of weight, meditate daily, stop eating sweets... It's the easiest thing to say, 'I'm going to do x'. I often say I'm going to:

  1. Lose weight
  2. Get fit
  3. Run faster and longer
  4. Read more
  5. Write down things I'm grateful for
  6. Write my blog (write for 10 minutes a day - what?!)
  7. Get more organised
  8. Start a business
  9. Grow the business
  10. Use Twitter better. Same for Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook...

Many of these things I've started and stopped, started and stopped. The truth is, the people who are great at anything, the people who do the things we aspire to do, they have serious grit, determination and focus. It is really really hard to stay committed, to stick to the course, to climb the mountain. 

Nothing is easy. Nothing falls in your lap. Nothing is down to luck. Nothing happens when you do nothing. 
— //Sara Drawwater

8 intentions for 2017

by Sara Drawwater in

OK, yes it's nearly the end of March. But at least I'm capturing these for the rest of the year!

  1. Figure out mama hood — Marley, routines, work, life, home running...
  2. Time with my boys — hubby, Marley and Rocki
  3. Continue growing the business
  4. Finish my book writing course 
  5. Figure out my blog and post regularly (this 10 minute a day thing is a great step in that direction)
  6. Work Instagram — more interaction from me, more engagement, more followers
  7. Lose 2 stone and feel sexy again (I can partly blame the pregnancy, but not entirely)
  8. Make real gains on the house project

And that's it, 10 minutes is up

Things you won't believe about being a new Mama

by Sara Drawwater

I'll write these down but until you actually take a baby of your own home, you will not really understand (I'm sorry to the Mamas I judged pre Marley). Mamas out there will know exactly what I mean... If you're not yet a Mama but plan to be, try and take heed without thinking, 'It can't be 'that bad'....'

  1. Time went from to what everyone says, 'I have no time' (whilst they watch TV) to, 'Seriously, I have no time, like never before'.
  2. No one wrote a manual for this. And I don't mean it like the known joke that refers to holding babies the right way up. I mean, I thought I was ready for this. I've spent lots of time with lots of kids. But yikes, having your own requires a manual that no one ever wrote. 
  3. Getting to know your baby is delightful and incredibly hard. It's utter guesswork because this tiny human can't communicate (in standard ways that big humans are used to). And yet as Mummy, you got to figure this human out, and quickly. 
  4. You spend your life looking for patterns (also known as routines that you didn't realise were going to be SO important). Patterns that exist and patterns that actually don't exist (although somewhere in your sleep deprived mind you obviously thought they did). Patterns that are hear today and gone tomorrow. Closely linked to point 3 above, you look for patterns so you can figure out the needs, likes and dislikes of your tiny human. At least you tell yourself that is what you are doing.  

And thus, 10 minutes of writing is up. This is hard!